This film was born out of desperation—the creative need to make another. I thought my next film would be the sequel to my last. I spent years developing it: writing, rewriting, making notes on how I’d shoot it, creating look books for characters, locations, and themes. It even had a pre-buy from a notable streamer. But that wasn’t enough to make it happen. The project ran into the usual obstacles: casting, scheduling, financing—and some not-so-typical ones. A pandemic. A war. I felt like I was dying inside. Watching movies, one of my greatest pleasures, became difficult—a reminder of my inability to create.

I started watching motovlogs. The first-person point of view felt both peaceful and kinetic, a juxtaposition that reminded me of my childhood—and of the motorcycle my dad left me as a posthumous gift. I bought a motorcycle—my first in over 40 years—and a GoPro. I thought maybe I could combine motovlogging with my love of horror and the supernatural. I embarked on the journey, knowing that it too could fall by the wayside. But the act of creating something—without being tied to funding—felt more meaningful than whatever fate awaited it.

I wrote six motovlog episodes, each inspired by one of my films. I still needed an actor, though, so I put on my director’s cap and turned the lens inward. Aside from my mom, I’m the only character here—a sad-sack version of myself. I made a film about dying, acceptance, and the need to move on. But it’s also a film about hope and perseverance. I suspect that, like most films, this one too may fall into obscurity. But my yearning to create is bigger than my need for it to be seen. It always has been. My hope is that it inspires others to create, even in the face of uncertainty—to embrace personal storytelling, even if that means putting your vulnerability on display.

— A.D. CALVO

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